What most entrepreneurs overlook when it comes to growing without burning out
One bleak winter morning at the start of this year, I took myself to an exhibition at the Brooklyn Museum after dropping my kids off.
Swizz Beats and Alicia Keys had donated pieces from their personal art collection – and one of our friends had a piece in the show – so I’d been meaning to go.
I booked the ticket the night before, bleary-eyed and exhausted after months of long and intense days working on the curriculum redesign for Life-First Business.
Despite running on empty, I clicked “confirm”, imagining how good it would feel to step away from my desk, refill my creative well and do something for me.
I knew my future self would thank me for it, even if it didn’t make sense on paper given the timelines I was working with, and the sheer volume of things that remained undone.
Because here’s the thing…
When we’re at max capacity, it’s so easy to deny ourselves of the little things that make us feel good.
In fact, I don’t think we even need to be at max capacity for that to happen.
Whether it’s down to the different roles we play in other people’s lives, or simply the fast paced and full-on nature of business ownership, if we’re not careful, those little things can be drowned beneath all of the other things screaming for our attention.
Child psychologist Dr Becky hosted a masterclass in her Good Inside membership that has stuck with me ever since.
She said that “mom rage” is a result of multiple missed opportunities to give ourselves what we need – and I think the same is true in the context of entrepreneurship.
Oftentimes, burnout is a byproduct of one or two things: either failing to recognise that we have needs; or shame, guilt or pressure causing us not to prioritize them.
I absolutely could have waited for things to quieten down, but we all know that that simply doesn’t happen.
Life is full, there are constantly things competing for our attention, and no sooner is one project complete, we’re moving on to the next.
Burnout has taught me that it’s in the moments when you feel you can’t afford to stop, that it becomes imperative to do so.
It’s also taught me that there’s a price to pay when you ignore the warning signs and don’t recognise the limits of your capacity.
What fills me up is alone time… quiet time… And the space to explore things that interest me away from what I “need” or “ought” to be doing.
As I get older and move deeper into my thirties, I’ve come to realize that I have to nurture myself like a plant.
In my twenties, I could produce and produce without paying too much attention to any of this stuff. But things are different now.
I’ve shared in past issues that I used to battle with, on one hand, wanting to go full force towards my business dreams and aspirations, with my desire to also go off the grid and not do any of that.
And what I’ve come to realize is that it doesn’t have to be an either/or.
Those of us who do have the pilot light switched on to live in the realm of possibility and cultivate big, bold lives, don’t have to achieve it by living in that state 24/7.
The more we’re asking of ourselves in our lives and businesses, the more quiet time, simplicity and replenishment we need behind the scenes.
It no longer becomes a nice-to-have; it’s a necessity, and something we need to be proactive about.
And that’s the beauty of what Julia Cameron coined as the ‘artist date’ – a practice that I encourage all of my Life-First Business students to lean into.
In her bestselling book, The Artist’s Way, she describes it as:
“… a once-weekly, festive, solo expedition to explore something that interests you. The Artist Date need not be overtly “artistic” – think mischief more than mastery. Artist Dates fire up the imagination. They spark whimsy. They encourage play. Since art is about the play of ideas, they feed our creative work by replenishing our inner well of images and inspiration. When choosing an Artist Date, it is good to ask yourself, “what sounds fun?” – and then allow yourself to try it.”
In an interview, Elizabeth Gilbert described artist dates as an opportunity to break away from what she calls, “commuter mind”, which is the mindset that we’re simply here to work, pay bills and die.
Artist Dates, then, are an invitation to step away from the day to day and carve off time to go on an adventure of sorts and follow your curiosities and the things that feel like “you”.
It’s a weekly event for you to look forward to as a way of coming back to yourself and staking claim for the fact that your needs matter.
For a long time, I tricked myself into thinking that everything I do in my business day-to-day is like an artist’s date – but it’s not true.
There’s a specific intention behind planning this time with yourself, alone, and away from your work that’s so important.
We were talking about it in my LFB alumni membership, Traction, the other day… the importance of protecting our time, energy and resources, and how creating from a replenished place is actually what allows us to operate in the highest service of those who interact with our work.
Generosity isn’t taking care of everyone else’s needs first.
Generosity is filling your own cup, having space to synthesize your ideas while you’re doing other things, and then bringing that back into your work.
I wouldn’t have an endless stream of ideas that I want to share with you here or in UNCUT or any of my other containers, if it wasn’t for this practice.
And by the way, artist dates don’t have to be fancy or expensive.
Take out a pen and paper now and just down some of the things you love doing.
Bonus points if these match up with your core motivators (a concept which is a key part of our Life-First Business Framework that I’ve touched on in past issues).
Some of my favorite things to do on an artist date:
Bring a blanket and write at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden.
Go to go a new coffee shop with a book
Take my paint supplies and create in the park
Go to an exhibition
Visit a plant nursery
Go to an stationary shop
Spend the afternoon at a library or independent book shop (Ever since I was a kid I’ve loved talking about books, reading books and being surrounded by them)
Cooking and trying new recipes I’ve saved
Picking flowers out and making mini arrangements to fill my house with
Rewatching old movies or re-reading books that give me all the feels
If I’ve sold you on the virtue of weekly artist dates, you may be wondering how and when you can make them happen, what with everything else you’ve got going on…
And my answer to you is this: it’s hard to have the capacity to create this time when the way we’re doing business isn’t conducive to that.
You can’t take time off during the week if your work days are overloaded and overworked.
It can feel irresponsible to step away for play when your income is spotty or inconsistent.
And it’s hard to make plans and truly savor them if you’re so depleted from your work days that all you want to do is flop down somewhere.
So maybe this is an opportunity to do a fall clean up, as we venture into this new season.
What shifts can you make in your business to cultivate more space for your needs?
How can you streamline?
What can you let go off?
And where are there opportunities to drill down so you’re not spread so thin?
Whatever it is, I hope you can find space for yourself right now and whenever you’re ready to really lean into this on the business-building level, you know I’ve got you.
